49
by whitetigerwolf
Summary: Harry Potter got drunk, and while drunk fell back in time, married Bellatrix Black, and took the name Harry Peverell. Now, years latter, his children are on the way to Hogwarts, and his wife has a conversation with her sisters. Crack/Humor story. M for conversations featuring adult content and to stay on the safe side but noting explicit. Harry/Bellatrix. HELLATRIX ONESHOT COMPLETE


**I Do Not Own Harry Potter**

 **Before I begin, I want to say that this story was never meant to be a serious story. It is utterly ridiculous, and I meant it that way. I will explain a bit more at the end.**

 **As for Harry's wife, and more importantly how he marries her, as this is a ridiculous story, and I have no intention of explaining exactly how they got together, I've fallen back onto the old standby, someone got drunk and things happened that they don't remember.**

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Bellatrix Peverell 'nee Black smiled as she watched the Hogwarts Express chug away.

For the first time, all of her children would be attending Hogwarts. And while she admitted she would miss them all, it would be nice to have the house to just her and her husband.

Beside her, her youngest sister Narcissa Malfoy 'nee Black, who was dropping of her only child for his first year, asked, "How does it feel knowing all your children will be gone until Yule?"

The raven haired woman smiled as she looked at her blonde sister. "It's actually a bit of a relief. I mean, I love my children, but it is a tad overwhelming at times when they are all home."

The snorting behind the sister's drew their attention to their middle sister, Andromeda Tonks, whose daughter was beginning her final year. The brunette sister, who aside from hair color resembled Bellatrix greatly, couldn't help but say, "Overwhelming is a bit of an understatement, wouldn't you say."

Bellatrix grinned, "Just a bit," she admitted.

"Where is your husband anyway, I wouldn't think he'd miss sending your last batch to Hogwarts?" Andromeda asked.

"Harry wanted to come," Bellatrix admitted, as she and her sister's began walking towards the floo. "But an emergency came up at the office."

Narcissa looked a tad concerned. She and Andromeda may have never even heard of Harry Peverell when Bellatrix came home with him as her husband, but they did like the man. "What kind of emergency?"

"Several of his employees tried stealing confidential material. He had to go and deal with it," The eldest sister explained. "All I know is that, as soon as he gets home, I'm shagging him until we're both unconscious. We haven't been able to do that for years."

Both of her sister's gave her a wide-eyed look. They looked at each other, before Andromeda tentatively asked, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"What do you mean?" Bellatrix asked.

"What Andromeda's trying to say is that…well, you already have so many children…"

Bellatrix cut her off. "I know." She gave her sister's speculative looks before asking, "But we don't need to worry about unwanted pregnancies anymore." At her sister's looks, she explained, "what, did you think we've been celibate for the past eleven years?" At her sister's looks she snorted. "Merlin no!" she laughed. "We haven't gotten a lot of time, but we certainly haven't been celibate. Why do you think I still look so thin despite all my children?"

"What?" Narcissa asked.

"Harry fucks me whenever we can. It's a great workout."

"But how do you prevent pregnancy, I thought contraceptive potions didn't work for you two?" Andromeda asked.

"As our second batch proved," Bellatrix admitted. With a sigh, she said, "As you know, Harry and I are both rather powerful magically, which makes us both rather fertile."

"Hence why you had seven septuplets in six years," Andromeda sarcastically mentioned.

Bellatrix glared at her sister but continued. "Anyway, our first batch, as you know, was unexpected. After they were born, Harry and I both agreed seven children was enough, and I went on the potion. Nine months later, our second set was born. Since the potion obviously didn't work, we tried muggle means. I went on what muggles call the pill, and Harry began to use condoms coated with a muggle spermicide. But neither of us thought the condom would burst, and again, nine months later I gave birth. I cursed harry with a sterility charm, because let's be honest, we had twenty one daughters at that point, we really were not wanting any more children. But the curse failed, and after another nine months, we welcomed our fourth set into the world. So I told Harry that he was only allowed anal after that, but he….well we've always been rather passionate, and neither of us noticed he slipped out of my backdoor and into my front until after we were done, which lead to the fifth group. Again we tried muggle means, and Harry had his…lines cut, shall we say. Sadly, that didn't work either, and we had group six. So then I had muggle surgery and had my tubes tied, but much like Harry, our magic overruled the muggle surgery, and our seventh group were born. Though at least we finally had a boy in the group. After that, I had my womb completely removed, and Harry did the same with his testicles, though he got silicone replacements. And for the past elven years, we haven't had a single pregnancy scare."

Both of her sister's looked at Bellatrix shocked.

"You're saying that Harry no longer has any balls?" Andromeda asked shocked.

Narcisse was simply too shocked to say anything.

"What can I say," Bellatrix said. "We have forty-nine children, and neither of us were willing to give up sex. Desperate times called for desperate measures." Looking at her sister's she explained. Just because he was drunk when he met and married me doesn't mean he doesn't desire me."

Neither of her sister's had anything to say about that.

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That night, as his naked wife lay unconscious in his arms from several hours of lovemaking, Harry Peverell's thoughts drifted to how he had come to this life.

It began when he had gone out drinking with his friends to celebrate Voldemort's defeat. He had, woken up having somehow been thrown back in time and married to Bellatrix Black, who had in his time become Bellatrix Lestrange. And while he admitted that, at first he wasn't pleased, he found that Bellatrix Black was much better than Bellatrix Lestrange. He'd then taken the name Peverell, as was his right as Master of death and descendant of the Peverell Brother's, since he couldn't use the names Black or Potter without causing suspicion.

Turned out that Bellatrix had fallen pregnant on their wedding night. So, in a desire to keep his new family safe, he'd used his future knowledge and defeated the past Voldemort much easier than he had in the future. He'd then started up a company in the muggle world as a means to support his family.

It was a good thing he had too. If Peverell Industries didn't make him a billionaire, he had no idea how he would have supported himself, his wife, his forty-eight daughters, and his son.

Right now, Harry was busy expanding his company. Since he wanted all of his children to inherit something from him when he did eventually pass on (which hopefully wouldn't be for many years), he wanted to ensure that each would be taken care of. Though he supposed that 49 shares divided equally amongst his children wouldn't be so bad.

He just hoped young Alexander, his youngest child and only son, was willful enough to stand up for himself against his 48 sisters.

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Several days later Harry broke down crying.

Somehow, after eleven years, Bellatrix's womb had grown back, and his previously silicone testes had become real.

Bellatrix had just told him she was pregnant again.

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 **I hope you enjoyed.**

 **This story was inspired by a story I read, I can't remember the title, were it mentioned that the more powerful a witch or wizard were, the more fertile they were. And since seven is supposed to be the most magical number, I figured that the height of fertility would be septuplets (twins of seven). Now, originally I was going to use Bellatrix producing seven eggs, which would each be fertilized and split into seven identical children, but that would mean Bellatrix would give birth to 49 children at once, and after giving birth seven times, would have 343 children.**

 **That's a lot of babies to push out in seven years, so I just had her give birth to seven children at a time. I made all but one daughters just because I found the idea of Harry being the loving overprotective father of 48 daughters amusing, but I figured I'd be nice and give him one son.**

 **I only named the son because I really did not want to try coming up with 48 unique names for girls.**

 **As for why I chose Bellatrix to be his wife…I'll admit, despite being evil, Bellatrix Lestrange is one of my favorite Harry Potter Characters. I did contemplate Harry having three wives (all three black sisters), but I eventually decided against it.**

 **And I didn't plan on that last bit with Bellatrix being pregnant again, I just felt that, after writing everything else, it would be amusing if after all their work not to have any more children, it still failed. My explanation for why it took eleven years was that their magic needed time to make such drastic changes unconsciously.**

 **Anyway, Please Review, Check Out the Challenges in My Forums, and the Stories I Have For Adoption Under the Title:** ** _Please Adopt Me!_**


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